The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
The Scythe of Death-ness had Baaaaaaaaaad Luck this chapter. Dedicated to Cybertoy00, who requested this over and over again.
Time for Deathscythe's moment to... um... glow?
Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
19. Deathscythe's Chapter
Somewhere along the line, Zero asked the fateful question, "I wonder what the guys are up to?"
Deathscythe was invisible, yet he still felt the need to hide behind a corner so Princess Rele wouldn't see him. She opened the nondescript door in the break room that led to the other side of the building, the side where she was always alone with that disgusting little human boy. Before she could shut it, he flew through the door.
It was a labyrinth, with each wall painted a different, glaring, clashing color. Deathscythe was blinded for merely a moment, but kept his eyes on the Princess. She boldly, but daintily, stepped through the maze, keeping to one twisting hallway that was painted white. As she walked, she undid her hair, letting it fall down around the small of her back. He followed her silently, keeping close behind her as he kept to the white hallway, then a blue one, then a red one. Finally, they came to a door. She took the doorknob in her hand and twisted it gently...
He couldn't believe his eyes. "Oh... my...."
The ceilings were high, and the walls were painted with scenes of beautiful rolling meadows, lush rainforests, and sprawling deserts. Trees (whether real or fake, because there were both) were pressed into every corner, growing straight up out of the floor and fanning out under the ceiling. Giant stuffed animals could be found on every wall, ranging from normal stuff like bears to weird things like ocelots. The furniture was soft, cushy, and mostly formless, spread out into front of a wide-screen tv with every video game console imaginable connected to it. The floor was strewn with toys, crayons, paper, pillows, blankets, and potato chip bags. From somewhere in the room, speakers softly played music that only kids would enjoy, like "Mm-bop", "The Macarena", and other such. Genkimaru and Charon were happily sitting on the lumps-o-sofa, laughing joyously at Pee-Wee's playhouse. Mel sat next to Charon, but wasn't watching; she was playing her Game Boy again.
Deathscythe was in awe, but wondered... where's the boy?
Princess Rele squeaked and clutched her hands together. "Yeah!"
From out of nowhere, Shute leapt out, grabbed Rele's hands, and began to spin her around. Deathscythe actually got hit in the face with her hair three times before they move away.
"Get out of bed, and stop your yappin'!" Shute sang. "'Cause we landed in the place where anything can happen!
He grabbed Mel's tail and pulled, making her scream again. "There's a sphinx that plays Game Boys, hey look!"
He poked Charon's head. "That's a cat that freakin' talks! Holy crap!"
She spun Rele around again, picking her up off the ground and finally throwing her into a mountain of teddy bears. "Go waaaackyyyy at Charon's plaaayhooouuuse!"
Rele's head popped out of the teddy bears; she was laughing. "That never gets old!"
Genkimaru suddenly gasped and jumped out of his rut. "Animal fight!"
It all happened so quickly. Soon everyone had a stuffed animal in their hands and was throwing it, hitting someone with it, or using it as a sheild. Deathscythe (who hadn't moved from the doorway since he arrived) was quickly pelted with three mongooses, a duck, 12 bears, 3 trouts, and, as finishing move, got beaned with a Power Rangers Triceratops Megazord. He fell to the floor just in time to hear Charon yell, "HEY! We don't throw plastics!"
Genkimaru stopped in mid-throw, holding Voltron over his head. "Aw, man!"
Charon dropped her plushie scorpion. "Hey, you guys wanna paint pictures out of blueberry juice?!"
Deathscythe was quickly trampled by each of the five children. He groaned. "It's for the Princess."
Deathscythe, by the time he had recovered, had followed the kids into a plain, small room covered with splotches of paint. It was all over the wall, the floor, even the ceiling! Along three walls (the wall with the door was left bare) were shelves stacked with cans of paint, overflowing with any color one could think of. The kids sat happily at a large table in the middle, dressed in filthy smocks and painting with enormous brushes. He went to take a step into the room.
He slipped on the WET paint and slid into the wall, slamming head-first into a bookshelf with a resounding crash.
Charon didn't look up. "Did you guys hear something?"
Mel shook her head. Shute wasn't paying attention. Rele and Genkimaru went "no" and went back to painting.
Deathscythe stood up, his outer shell covered in paint and not looking too unlike a circus clown. Looking down at himself, he saw the paint and nearly screamed.
She'll see me! he thought. He tried to run out of the room, but slipped again and rammed into the door (once again, the kids didn't hear him). So angry that the paint was starting to smolder, Deathscythe stood up, opened the door, and floated out of the room. Gotta wash this off...
Charon held up her painting. "Mine's a dragon."
Mel finished hers at about the same time. "Mine's Sora from Kingdom Hearts!"
Charon hung her head in shame.
Shute was still touching up his picture as he painted it. "Mine's Zero, since all the paint is blue."
Charon pointed to Genkimaru's. "What'd you draw?"
Genkimaru shoved his picture into the middle. "I drew me and my mom."
"What about your dad?"
Oops. Charon forgot about Genkimaru's "tense" relationship with Kibaomaru. True, the boy didn't hate his father anymore, but they weren't exactly on speaking terms either. Genkimaru frowned and, taking a paintbrush, smudged a large, almost black spot on the picture next to him. "Pretend that's Kibaomaru."
Shute copied Genkimaru's frown. "Aw, come on, Genkimaru, he's your father. Have you ever tried to be nice to him?"
The boy didn't answer. Rele filled the potential awkward pause with her painting. "I drew you and me, Shute."
That comment alone was enough to draw Deathscythe back into the room, still covered in paint and still mostly red-hot in anger. Shute looked over the picture sternly. "You made me taller than you."
Rele sighed, hearts in her eyes. "I like my men tall..."
Deathscythe had his hands over Shute's neck, ready to strangle him.
"Let's go swimming!"
TRAMPLE'D! Deathscythe was now imprinted with green pawprints and rainbow footprints. "Not... my... day..." He tried to lighten his spirits. "Maybe I can wash this paint off in the water."
The pool looked more like a koi pond than your typical backyard pool. Large rocks ran around the circumference, and the pool itself was fed by a large waterfall, which Mel was sitting under. "Charon! Look! I'm a monk in a kung fu movie!"
Charon laughed and clapped, appreciating the joke. Charon had immediately slipped out of her street clothes and into a black Speedo (apparently the children were wearing their swimsuits under their clothes), slipping into the pool using a rock as a slide. Shute jumped into the water in his lucky red swim trunks. Genkimaru and Rele were each on a floating raft, sipping Icees.
Deathscythe was behind the waterfall, out of Mel's sight, scrubbing the paint off of him. "Frikkin'- stupi- paint, won't- grr- hard spot- Princess- grh!"
He paused when he heard Shute talking. "Charon, what time is it?"
"It's- aw, crap. Everybody, out of the pool, it's time for the pool shark to clean it."
Mel hopped out of the waterfall and (most likely) swam out of the pool. Deathscythe couldn't exactly see past the flowing water, but soon the splashing sounds stopped. He smiled smugly and washed the rest of the paint off under the waterfall. "Yeesh... I'm glad Charon doesn't let us back here..." The waterfall stopped itself. He looked up. "I wonder what a pool shark is..."
He heard a growling sound behind him.
Deathscythe remembered to kick the high-suction, mechanical pool cleaning machine (aka the pool shark) off his leg before entering the next room. He checked himself. His leg was covered with scratch marks from the pool shark. He hissed. "It's for the Princess..."
He flinched when the TV flashed on, covering his face and going immediately into stealth mode; when it didn't strike him, he let down his guard.
This time, they were sitting on a real sofa, sturdy wood frame and all. They were watching Pee-Wee's Playhouse... again.
But the Princess wasn't watching it. She had her eyes focused on the red-head sitting next to him...
Deathscythe fumed again. He snuck up behind the sofa, turning invisible and pulling out his sword. He wasn't above it. One little swipe would be all it took, and the Princess would be his...
And then someone said the secret word.
All five of them screamed at the top of their lungs! Deathscythe screamed and dropped his sword on his foot, screaming louder! And finally, the kids all leaned back, making the sofa fall backwards on top of Deathscythe!
FINALLY, the kids noticed someone with them. Shute turned around and hung over the sofa that was somehow, magically, covering a good foot-and-a-half off the ground. "What the heck?"
Deathscythe snapped out of stealth mode. Mel and Genkimaru screamed. The dragon Gundam shot out from under the sofa like a bullet. "You've won this battle, human, but only because you're on home soil! I will not loose again!"
He stormed out of the door, mumbling about paint and sharks...
Rele cocked her head. "What was that?"
"That was Deathscythe," Charon explained. "He followed you back from the Gundam side, and he's been tailing us for most of, what, fifteen minutes?"
"Should we go after him?" Genkimaru held up his knife, smiling expectantly.
"Nah." Charon began to kick her legs, bored. "The booby traps in the hallways will get him."
Deathscythe finally stumbled until the break room, covered in dents and sporting an arrow through his wing. Kibaomaru and Zapper Zaku looked at him with cocked eyebrows and wary eyes. "Ai-ya. What happened to you?"
Deathscythe took a breath. "Green... hallway..."
I'm not good at coming up with madcap, over-the-top humor. But hey, this was fun!|
Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20