The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
A really short one, but useful.
Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
3. Zako-Zako Hour... sort of...
The boys compete in the "Most Sexy" competition... but first!
Before the Zakos could finish, something weird happened. Shute, Rele, and Genki leapt onto stage and kicked them away like soccer balls, catching their mikes in their hands. Shute snapped up the yellow, Rele caught the red, and Genki fumbled a bit with the blue before he finally snapped it up with his teeth.
Shute took his place in the middle. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Zako-Zako Hour, today's meeting is all about- All together now!"
The children punched the air in unison. "What the heck are the Gundams doing?"
The crowd yelled, "ZAKO!" and cheered in glee!
"I do wish to know what has come over all of my knights," Rele remarked.
"And my Dad," Genki added.
"It's simple, really!" Shute burbled. "All of the guys have been chosen to be part of a Beauty Pageant, where traits like their details, looks, and personalities will win them awards and the respect of everyone who cares!"
"Oh..." Genki hopped into the air for effect. "So they're just pandering for attention!"
"Precisely!" Shute chirped.
Rele fell into the ground. Shute looked over her, worried. "Rele, get up, your slip is showing."
The Princess went "EEP!" and hopped back up, holding down her skirt.
"Uh, maybe you'd like to explain the first round, Rele?" Shute suggested.
"NO!" Rele turned red in the face. "I'm not allowed to say that word!"
"I can!" Genki stood proudly in front of the screen, where various screencaps of the contestants popped up as he talked about them. "This round is to judge the sexiness of the first four competitors! Whoever wins will become a contender for the last round, the Best in Show category!
"Captain Gundam has been chosen mostly for his muscles and strength. Although that's sure to get him some points, his innocent and quiet demeanor might betray him in this round, as sexiness is mostly about attitude.
"Cobramaru, the second contestant, has plenty of that. But, too much attitude along with a relatively small frame might knock him out of the competition.
"Zero the Winged Knight, also chosen for behavior, is both popular with the ladies with physical prowess and the whole 'my lady' courtly love thing. With no real drawbacks, he's the most likely to win this round in theory.
"Grappler Gouf has been chosen for reasons unknown (or, more accurately, unelaborated), but his wide shoulder hint as a muscular bod, and his in-your-face attitude is a double-edge sword as it may both excite and offend the judges."
"WOW!" Shute gawked. "You've done your research!"
"I try," whispered Genki while blushing.
"Alright!" Rele, her face a bright pink, raised her royal hand. "I've had enough of this vulgar talk! The fact that my knights are in a lewd situation like this is bad enough!"
"Lighten up!" Shute snapped.
Sensing a fight, Genki raised his hand to get the audience's attention. "Um, we're gonna move on before this gets any worse! For the future of the Beauty Pageant!"
"MECHA SOLDIER FIGHT!"