The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
Although we're not quite there yet, this is another introduction to the next chapter AND a chance to get to know some of the original characters AND know where the other guys go when they're not needed.
Revamped once again, I thought each Gundam (or whatever) deserved his own song. He we go again!
Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
4. STILL not there, but getting there
Charon ordered the four contestants: "Head down the hall into the main room. Bring a dressing room girl with you to prepare you for the first round. Everybody else, come with me."
Captain sat down in the first chair from the door, the Neotopian Gundamess following him. "Where do you think they took the others?"
"I don't know." Zero, feeling the need for attention, picked Cobramaru out of the chair adjacent to Captain using his magic and threw him into the back wall. He sat himself in the chair with his legs crossed, the Lacroan wench he brought along (he didn't know her name) quickly grabbing a cloth. She began to polish the wings on his helmet.
Captain grimaced. "That wasn't nice."
"That's life." Zero wasn't quite paying attention. The wench had discovered a soft part on his neck, and his eyes had begun to wander. "Oo, that feels good. Keep doing that, yeah..."
"Anybody seen my girl?" Grappler Gouf scratched his head, confused. "I mean, she was right here a minute ago."
"I'm sure she's somewhere, Grappler." Captain felt the Gundamess tap his shoulder. "Oh, I'm sorry." He leaned back and let her start on his faceplate.
Grappler tapped where his chin should have been. "I coulda sworn I had her with me. Spam."
The Dark Axis fembot leaped out of nowhere and latched herself to Grappler's chest. "Here I am, you terrible tower of tyranny!"
"Oh yeah!" Grappler through his arm around her and jostled her around a bit. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about! Where've you been all my life, sweetums?!"
"I was programmed especially for you, your mechanical majesty!" She draped herself over his frame so heavily that she was hanging from his neck. "Nothing but the best for my diabolical duke of darkness!"
Grappler thought to himself, I wonder if I can order a few more of these from the factory.
Grappler went on to flirt with her for a bit, but Captain paid no attention (mostly because it embarrased him). He instead talked to his new friend. "What is your name?"
"Maxine?" Captain turned his head so "Maxine" could reach the back. "They gave you a name?"
"It just stuck," she explained. "Part of my production code is MXN, so the humans just started calling me that."
"I'm jealous. I never got a name."
"Really?" Maxine held the washcloth to her face in thought; Captain noticed she had a pointed faceplate, just like him. As she pulled her face away, some of the polish left a shiny spot on her cheek. "I thought-"
"Captain is my title." He sighed a little. "It's not really a name."
"It is to me. Turn your head towards me now."
He did, and Maxine put his head right into her chest and hugged him. "Feel better?"
Captain immediately turned bright red. "Much."
On the other side of the room, Cobramaru had just gotten lucid enough to speak again, and was being helped to his seat by Hoshiko. Of course, he couldn't resist-
"So, Hoshiko," he began. "How did you end up with this job?"
"We volunteered." Hoshiko smirked. "We were the only ones that did, all the other women thought it was belittling to spend the better part of three days making men look good."
"Three days?" Cobramaru gulped, several ideas popping into his head. "Where will we be staying?"
"I know the men are getting rooms in the nearest hotel. I don't know about our rooms-"
Cobramaru took her hand roughly. He purred in a perverted way, "May I offer you mine?"
She snatched his waist, equally perverted and growling back, "Gladly..."
Cobra glared at Grappler, quickly regretting it; the Dark Axis bot pointed behind himself.
He and Hoshiko were perfectly reflected in the center of all four of the mirrors. Zero dug his face into the headrest to keep himself from laughing. Captain and Maxine were both blushing furiously. The Dark Axis servant-bot looked slightly disgusted. The wench just rolled her eyes.
Hoshiko gave Cobra a pinch on the butt, making him whoop in shock. She smiled as the others laughed and walked back to the chair; Cobramaru followed after the tension wore off.
Grappler wondered out loud, unaware that Captain had before him, "I wonder what the guys are up to."
Karaoke, depending on who is singing, is not always a good idea. Talgeese, for instance, made karaoke a bad idea.
"What in the world could make a brown eyed girl turn blue?" Talgeese swung his hips towards Charon, who was too busy playing Shaq Fu on the Super Nintendo to do anything but wave dismissively. "When everything I'll ever do, I do for you?"
GunDiver 1 walked by carrying a Coca-Cola, followed by Zapper Zaku with a plate of Cheez-Its. "Now, this is a break room!"
Britainmaru went unexpectantly flying across the room, smashing into the kareoke machine in a burst of sparks. "WOO! YATTA! Kibao-san, tighten the rubber bands a little tighter next time! We'll prove those kooks at Mythbusters wrong yet!"
Charon looked up from her video game. "Oh, jeeze loweeze. MEL!"
Mel was pouring herself into her Gameboy still. "Why won't you DIE, Marluxia!?"
Charon sniffed. "On second thought. SAZABI! Get me a screwdriver!"
It was a little later that three of the contestants were fully polished and waiting to go onstage. Each one shined from head to toe (although it was shining the part in the middle that made for some moments not allowed in a PG fanfiction). Zero, Cobramaru, and Grappler Gouf waited in the wings for Captain who, for some reason, was taking extra time.
Cobramaru, bereft of his upper armour, stood slightly hunched in the shadow of a curtain. He body was slim but muscled, serpentine being the best word to describe him. When he breathed, his entire chest moved in a sensual wave, his entire form rippling like a snake whenever he stretched. His Gundanium body, unlike Zero's or Captain's, was a sort of gunmetal black, and his limbs had a weak mesh pattern woven into his "skin". He crossed his legs and looked everywhere but another person's eyes.
Zero, who had a slightly broader shoulder span than Cobra, puffed out his chest like a bird would display his feathers. He even made sure that he hovered in such a way that his cape fanned out. Of course, it wasn't unjustified. Zero's muscles were well developed and moved smoothly whenever he did, and he did a lot. His body was polished with a slight gleam so he shined in the light, and he seemed almost ethereal if he held himself in the right light.
Feeling the urge to gloat, Zero looked at Cobramaru over his shoulder. "Feeling inferiour, Cobramaru?"
The ninja huffed. "Feeling cold."
Grappler Gouf, his body left with a slightly rougher finish, stood closeby holding an axe-style I-Been-Ezz guitar for the number. His abs were covered by his guitar, which was a shame, because they were a darker color than his skin tone and very nicely formed, as were his biceps, with always seemed to be flexed no matter how he held his arms. He stroked the guitar softly and slowly, as if it were a cherished pet. "Where the Dell is Captain?"
"Probably having a tete-a-tete with the nasty servant girl he picked from the dressing room," Cobra snipped.
"Hush, you halfwit!" Zero growled, spinning around to meet Cobramaru. "That's no way to speak of a lady!"
"A lady, that one ain't, Zero," Cobramaru hissed. "She's pratically a brick with breasts. No curves."
"Speaking of not being a lady..." Grappler began to edge towards the stage. "Company."
"What kind of co-" Zero was surprised enough to land. "Talgeese? What are you doing here?"
Talgeese ambled over to Zero, his eyes conspicuously missing Zero's face. In fact, they were resting on Zero's green soulstone, by the look of it (pardon the pun), which (as it did in most Gundams, including Cobramaru) rested in the middle of his chest in a groove between his pecks. "Just... admiring the handiwork of the makeup girls." His eyes began to go lower. Zero felt the beginnings of panic.
"Sorry I'm late."
Zero immediately snapped out of Talgeese's stare. "Captain! Thank Ma- CAPTAIN!"
Captain was huge. Almost a solid wall of muscle, each one jutting out from his body like it was carved into him (which, upon further thought, it probably was). Whenever he walked, it looked at if a statue had come to life and was moving towards them. He was shined to a near glow; Talgeese could see his reflection in his chest (he was looking for it). His Soul Drive was tucked neatly under his pecs were it couldn't be seen.
Captain continued, ignoring the impressed stares. "Maxine took a little longer than you all did."
"No kidding..." Grappler breathed.
The Gundams all jumped as Charon appeared from behind a curtain. Zero frowned. "Do you have to sneak up on us every time?"
"Not my fault I'm quiet." Charon pointed to the curtain. "Grappler's on in two. GIRLS! WISH 'EM LUCK!"
Each of the mecha's makeup girls came out and kissed them on the cheek, murmuring their own words of encouragement. Charon shooed them away before the boys could react farther. Grappler Gouf still found the nerve to yell, "WAIT! I NEED MORE LUCK!"
Charon snapped back, "You're on!"