The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
And guess who's finally heeeeeeereeeeeeeeee?
Chapter 45 - Chapter 46 - Chapter 47
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
46. ALMOST Everyone's Happy Ending
“WE FOUND HIM! WE FOUND HIM!”
Shute and Madnug burst through the door to the break room to a sea of open arms. Madnug gently placed Captain on the sofa next to Cobramaru as Shute pulled Charon towards him. “Look! We found him! Madnug saved his life, didn't you Madnug?!”
Only after I tried to take it, he thought to himself, but he nodded in agreement.
He stepped away from the throng as they crowded around Captain and Cobra, only to step into Sazabi as he turned away.
The one-eyed one looked down upon the Gundam. “You had your chance. Why didn't you do it?”
“There's no honor in killing him when he's already half-dead,” Madnug sternly answered.
Sazabi tossed his head, tired of looking at this inferior example of Dark Axis ingenuity. “You are a coward.”
“If I had struck him down, that would have made me a coward.”
Sazabi walked away, ashamed of him. Zapper took his place, looking around nervously. “Hey, Madnug.”
He leaned in closer. “You did the right thing. We're proud of ya.”
The black Gundam was pushed aside as Hoshiko slipped her way through the crowd. Talec moved to the side to let her see the two sleeping Gundams. “He's still unconscious. We don't know how he's gonna turn out.”
The tiny Gundamess kneeled down next to Cobramaru and held his cheek, patting his face softly. “I'm so sorry Cobramaru…I was wrong… I do love you.”
She kissed him gently, barely enough to make a sound.
He jerked like he'd been electrocuted. The other Gundams jumped back in surprise while Cobramaru shook himself awake. When his eyes finally focused, they centered on Hoshiko.
He smiled. “I know.”
(Several of the Gundamaniacs went “Aaw,” and then soon after, “STAR WARS!”)
Hoshiko jumped in his arms while the rest either applauded or gagged.
Except for one. TDAT pointed in different directions as she spoke, her mind making the connections as she talked. “Wait, so if Hoshiko's here, and Hoshiko was visiting Bakunetsumaru at the hospital, and now she's back, then that means-”
“We got stuck in traffic.”
TDAT turned around straight into Bakunetsumaru's face. He smiled and patted her on the nose. “Hi there!”
Normally, she would've bitten someone's arm off if they did that, but instead TDAT screamed and hugged Baku around the neck. “He's alive!”
Baku pointed behind him. “And look!”
She lifted her head. Standing behind Baku was the entire family (minus Hoshiko, who was still engulfed in Cobramaru), plus two. One was a tall blue Musha Gundam with dark brown eyes. He was a typical Musha, armor adorned with various rope motifs and a helmet with jagged v-fins and spikes that curled up like horns on either side of his head. (Picture up when I draw it).
The other was a little speck in Hanako's arms.
Fenn squeaked. “The baby!”
Talgeese then shoved her aside. “Hey, I wanna see it!”
Before anyone could react, Hanako had been jumped by the crowd. It was all Baku and Aneko could do to keep Hanako's arms from getting ripped off, and the baby quickly wound up in the first available set of arms; Kibaomaru.
“Look at her!” Kibaomaru held the little baby above his head. She was as bald as a cueball, but her eyes were the exact same dark brown as her fathers and searched the room for a face. She was extraordinarily tiny, barely the size of his hand (which was big for a Gundam baby!). She looked into Kibaomaru's eyes and smiled, waving her arms towards him. “And she's friendly, too!”
He cuddled her back into his arm while Genkimaru jumped onto his shoulder. “You know, I helped deliver you, kanoko.”
“Only for a little bit!” Genkimaru objected.
Kibaomaru snapped back. “It still counts!”
“Alley-oop-“ Britainmaru jumped up and snatched the baby from Kibaomaru's hands. “Oh, what and adorable little baby! Reminds me of my third granddaughter, Yuuyakeko, only she came out with teeth… anyway! Ashuramaru, would you like to hold the baby?”
Ashuramaru took one look at the little girl and froze, his entire body going pale. “NO!”
“Is there something wrong with my niece?” Aneko snarled.
“No! No, I-I-I-I just d-don't want-“ He gulped as the baby began cooing for attention. “I justdon'twannadrop the baby…”
Britainmaru dropped a bead of sweat. “You have six arms, you are not going to drop the baby.”
Britainmaru jumped up again and forcibly placed the baby in Ashuramaru's hands. The Gundam had all six hands on the tiny one (which is a difficult fit), but he soon panicked enough to pass it onto the Daishogun. He smiled at her. “Aren't you precious?
“A newborn baby
Her small eyes see a large world
He tapped her with his fan and passed her on to Zero. The Winged Knight looked at her softly as the other two knights looked over his shoulders. “Hello, the baby! Hello, aren't you a little angel?”
Talgeese tapped Zero's arm. “Can I see the baby?”
“NO!” Zapper instinctively jerked the baby away from Talgeese, right into Deathscythe's hands. “Wha- You planned that!”
Deathscythe ignored him. “Hi baby! Aren't you the ugliest little baby?” he said in a sickeningly sweet tone. “Aren't you ugly, you're a little gargoyle, aren't you?”
The baby didn't know any better and giggled sweetly. Deathscythe passed her onto Talgeese (Zero nearly exploded with rage), who immediately tossed her into the air and caught her again. She screamed in delight. “I'm done.”
Then she was handed to Guneagle, who panicked and immediately shoved her into Gundiver. Gundiver held the baby to his face. “Wow… um… hi, baby.”
The baby bit his nose, leaving a long trail of drool when she pulled away. He gagged and pushed her to Gunpanzer, trying to ignore Guneagle's laughing.
“Well, tarnation!” Gunpanzer sat down and put the baby onto his knee. “Aren't you a tiny leetle varmint, huh?” He picked her up again and held her upside down. “Ah seen polecats bigger'en you!”
Hanako squealed nervously. “Please, my baby!”
“Aw, faine,” he grumbled, putting the baby into Shute's arms. “Better be carefully, the mother's more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room fulla rockin' chairs.”
Shute, who was sitting next to Captain on the sofa, cradled the baby softly, hoping he could sing to her or something-
She was snatched out of his hands by Grappler Gouf.
Immediately, the room was up in arms. Charon stood in front of the Dark Axis bot, despite several swords pointing in her face. “Hey, he gets a turn just like everybody else! We won't let him hurt her!”
“I've never seen a baby Gundam before,” Grappler mused to himself. He held her with her belly lying in his hand, turning her gently and inspecting her. “They're tiny.”
“I know!” Zapper took the baby from Zapper and held her by the armpits. “I expected `em to be bigger than this! Especially after the mom got carted off-”
“Dom want baby!” Dom plucked the tiny one out of Zapper's hands and put her feet on the back of the sofa, pretending to make her dance. “Da-da da-da du, DA DA, duh duh!”
“There's not enough Gundanium in that thing to make a model car,” Zapper pointed out.
“To think Madnug looked like that once,” Grappler laughed.
“I did not!” Madnug shouted. “I was built adult sized!”
Grappler rolled his eye. “Sure you were.”
Zapper laughed at the mental picture of a tiny Madnug in a diaper with a patsy in his mouth, but his laughing made the baby start to fuss. The Dark Axis mecha froze as the baby whimpered.
Hanako stepped forward and politely took the baby back, hugging her daughter to her chest. Dom groaned sadly. “Dom want baby.”
Meanwhile, Shute was gazing forlornly at Captain. He still wasn't moving. Shute could just barely hear his Soul Drive clicking inside his chest. He tugged at Charon's arm. “There's gotta be something we can do.”
The sabercat's ears wiggled softly, the muscles too weak to flatten properly. Charon bit her lip in thought, trying to think of anything non-Mary-Sue-y that could wake Captain up.
There wasn't anything. Every reasonable plot turn in the universe couldn't save him at this point. Captain was dying…
She sighed. “Mel, please go turn off the Mary Sue inhibitor.”
Mel looked up from the baby. “Which one is that?”
“The one that looks like a metal heart with an electric collar around it,” Charon explained. “The rest of you, `round the sofa, now!”
The Gundams, Gundamesses, and Gundamaniacs all crowded around the sofa. Charon pulled a small stick out of her pocket. “Okay, guys, I've come to the painful realization that if we don't do something totally sappy and Mary-Sue-ish-”
She tapped Captain's chest. “He's gonna die.
“DON'T SAY ANYTHING!”
“Now, I also realize how a lot of the humans and other author-creatures here go way out of your way to make sure that your fanfictions are in no way, shape, or form Mary-Sue-ish
“And I acknowlege that you Gundams, as Gundams, have a certain level of dignity that usually prevents you from overtly doing something overtly sappy.
“But I am asking that you suspend your disbelief, swallow your pride, and do this one little thing for me this one time, for the sake of Captain, who has been beaten, bruised, struck by lightning, nearly drowned, and emotionally impaled within the course of this whole fanfiction.
“Could you, please?”
Fenn raised her hand. “You didn't even have to ask.”
She flicked the small stick, and it extended into a long scythe a little taller than Daishogun. She held the blade over Captain's chest. “Everybody, hands on the scythe and close your eyes.”
Mel right clicked on the Mary-Sue inhibitor icon and clicked “Close”.
“This is gonna take a musical number.”
I'll stop here. Musical numbers take a lot of time. And typing. And I've got a stupid school project to do that involves me being out of the house. I'll write more later.|
Chapter 45 - Chapter 46 - Chapter 47