The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
And now we're wrapping it up… can't think of much else to say.
Chapter 47 - Chapter 48 - Chapter 49
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
48. ZAKO ZAKO HOUR! (First in a while, last for the fic)
“Zako Zako Hour!”
The curtain opened to both the normal Zakos and the troup of kids together on stage, each with a microphone. Zako Red raised his mic, “Ladies and gentlebots, welcome to the Zako Zako Hour, today's meeting is all about-”
The six hosts punched the air together. “A great big recap, zako!”
The crowd cheered wildly and applauded. Genkimaru spun around wildly before falling over. “Man, the past two days have been confusing!”
Rele looked up from the tiny Gundam. “I think we'll need a quick summary before we can move on.”
“ZAKO!” the Zakos… uh… “zako”ed.
Zako Blue pointed to the main screen as appropriate video images played. “Lord Zapper Zaku was upset because no one was paying attention to him and took up eating hemlock berries.”
Shute continued, using his microphone as a placeholder. “The hemlock berries turned him into a weremech, and without him knowing, Britainmaru and Gunpanzer went out into the forest to hunt him!”
Blue went on, “Worried that he might get seriously injured, Lord Grappler Gouf, Lady Killer Kath, and Lady Melady ran into the forest to catch him. They nearly wound up getting their little patookies whooped by an enraged Lord Zapper Zaku were-mech-dog, zako!”
“Luckily, Grappler found it in him to apologize for ignoring Zapper, and the two made up in the forest,” Shute finished.
Genkimaru went “eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew”, to which Shute yelled, “I said make `up', not make `out'!”
“ANYWAY!” Zako Yellow spun the camera to face him and Rele. “Bakunetsumaru, tired of the promise he made with his sisters long ago being ignored, zako, got fed up with his sister Hoshiko and yelled at her a bunch, zako.”
Rele nodded. “Hoshiko was in love with Cobramaru, but was trying to convince herself that she wasn't so she wouldn't be breaking her promise. Cobramaru-”
Zako Yellow interrupted, “Who was really in love with her-”
“Found out about it and got so angry he stabbed Bakunetsumaru.” Rele flinched sympathetically. “While Baku was in the hospital, Zero comforted Aneko and convinced Hoshiko and her to visit Bakunetsumaru.”
“The family made up within seconds,” Zako Yellow pointed out.
Rele smiled. “And then all was well.”
“Ah! But it was not!” Genkimaru spun the camera again. “Because in the compound, Guneagle was planning to get rid of Captain so he could have Maxine all to himself!”
“He tricked Captain into thinking no one liked him because of his human face,” Zako Blue explained. “He was so stressed out he ran into the forest to kill himself, zako!”
Genkimaru continued the banter, fists clenched excitedly. “But he didn't, because Cobramaru beat him up and MADE him know he was a Gundam!”
“But then he got beat up by Zapper Zaku in were-mech-dog form!”
“And then he almost drowned!”
“And then Lord Madnug tried to kill him!” Zako Blue proudly announced.
“But he didn't, because that wouldn't be right,” Genkimaru corrected. “Madnug realized that Captain went through as much bad stuff as he did and couldn't find it in his Soul Drive to kill him in cold blood. And we're all proud of him.”
The six hosts nodded in unison. “Mm-hmm.”
Zako Blue wrapped up Captain's summary with, “A near-dead Captain was brought back to life by the collective efforts of his friends, his enemies, his sometimes authors, and a song from the 1970s.”
“AND NOW EVERYTHING IS OKAY, ZAKO!” yelled the hosts.
An envelope fell from the ceiling. The kids watched it flutter slowly down… down… down…
“I GOT IT!” Genkimaru jumped on top of Shute's head and opened the envelope, keeping a steading hold on Shute's hair. “What the-? Apparently, someone's won the Most Human award for the beauty pageant!”
“I could've sworn we never had that,” mused Shute.
Zako Yellow raised his hand. “Something in my fictional characters sense is telling me not to question this particular turn of events right now.”
The other five nodded in a agreement. “Zako.”
Genkimaru opened the envelope. “The winner is…
Shute bounded into the air with a booming, “YAAAAAAAAHOOO!”
He ran full speed off of the screen, leaving Genkimaru sitting on a puff of smoke for three seconds before falling down.
“I guess somebody's interviewing Captain,” surmised Zako Red. “Let's find out!”
The screen switched to Charon and a very blushing Captain, who had a tear nestling in his eye. “Well, Captain, how's it feel to win this particular award?”
“I feel…” he sniffed. Charon patted his shoulder. “No, no, I feel great! It's an honor… it just feels a little ironic, too, that I'm being rewarded for a part of me I was afraid of-”
“-AaaHOOOO!” Shute pummeled Captain and grappled his neck, snuggling into the hollow of his neck.
Captain smiled warmly. “Then again… if you're loved, what does it matter?”
He returned his friend's hug, leaving Charon to signal to go back to the station.
“I can't believe Shute loves that Gundam more than me!” Rele whined, throwing herself into the floor. The smaller mechas all sprouted question marks.
“Uh… ANYWAY, FOR THE FUTURE OF THE FANDOM!”