The city
The S.D.G.

The kingdom

The land

The Dark Axis
The army


GBA Game
PS2 Game

Anime Adaptation
SDGF Gaiden
Musha Retsuden
The Gundam Beauty Pageant
by Charon the Sabercat

   This was originally gonna be the third chapter, but I finished Captain's first. Seems like Heavy Metal is popular among mechas...

Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9

The Gundam Beauty Pageant
8. Cobramaru's Round

Cobramaru could sense Hoshiko coming up behind him. "I know you are there."

Hoshiko turned him to face her, pulling softly on the red joint under his chin (what the heck ARE those things?). She looked deep into his eyes, her voice barely higher than a whisper. "I know you're going to win."

"Do I have a choice?" he joked, pushing himself a little closer to her. "You'd hunt me down if I didn’t."

"Like the sssssssnake you are."

The hiss made Cobramaru's shell crawl, albeit in a good way. He closed his eyes and let the feeling sink in, shuddering. "Oh, yeah..."

When he opened his eyes, Hoshiko was tracing the lines of his kanji with her finger, hovering her hand slightly above his soul stone. It was something almost everyone insisted on doing whenever they saw it, for some strange reason, and he hated it whenever anyone tried... usually.

This time... he didn't mind. Thoughts turned over in his head. Why don't I care that she's doing this? Out of habit, though, he backed away. "What are you doing?"

"Just..." Hoshiko struggled with the word, her eyes still lingering over Cobramaru's chest.


"Curious can mean a lot of things..." Cobramaru's eyes suddenly caught a black spot above Hoshiko’s ear. He swept a claw under it; it was hair.

"What is this?" he asked, pulling back his claw. Hoshiko pulled on the tuft of hair, revealing a wooden handle.

"A paintbrush."

"Oh..." Cobra inspected his claw, which was now covered in black ink. "An artist, are we?"

Hoshiko did a rare thing for Cobramaru. She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, um..."

Cobramaru pulled her in close to him. "Just curious."

Hoshiko regained her confidence and threw her arms over his neck. "Curious can mean a lot of things."

"Aren't we bold?" Cobramaru and Hoshiko both laughed as Cobramaru tickled Hoshiko's neck with a single claw.

And then his name was called.

Cobra put his face dangerously close to hers, so close she could feel the warmth roll off his mouth as he spoke. "We'll finish this later."

He parted with Hoshiko, leaving her to rub her neck once again. Luckily, she missed the one little spot where Cobramaru had written the first symbol of his name on her neck...

The guitar chords began playing over the PA system before Charon even started talking. "Ladies and gentlemen, our third round. He's the Serpentine Sensation, the No-Nonsense Ninja, he's the Rattlesnake Romeo, it's Cobramaru!"

The lights flashed off except for a white glow that seemed to emanate from the center aisle of the theatre.

Unknown Voice: Oh my... god...

One strong note signaled the beginning of "Welcome to the Jungle", sending the few males in the audience into a screaming frenzy.

Cobramaru: Ooo-ooooooooo......

With every prominent cord, a different part of the theatre lit up, illuminating huge, green jungle leaves, vines, and glints of snake skin among the foliage.

Cobramaru: ...oooooooo-


The trees rocketed out of the walls and smashed into the ceiling, spilling palm leaves and vines over the crowd. The audience screamed in both terror and joy as pythons slithered around their feet, moving as a collective towards the stage. In the center of the throng stood Cobra, legs splayed and body tense.

Cobramaru: Welcome to the Jungle

We got fun and games!

He thrust his hips to the music and raked his claws forward, enticing the crowd.

Cobramaru: We got everything you want,

Honey, we know the names!

With a stomp of his foot, he marched forward to the edge of the stage.

Cobramaru: We are the people that can find

Whatever you may need.

Quick as a flash, he had grabbed a Gundamess by the throat and was holding her to his face.

Cobramaru: If you got your money, honey,

We got your disease.

His eyes flashed, and the Gundamess swooned. He tossed her back down retreated back to the stage, the lights of the forest dancing across his chest.

Cobramaru: In the Jungle,

Welcome to the Jungle!

Won’t you take it to your

Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees, knees!

His eyes rolled ecstatically.

Cobramaru: Mm-woa! I-

I wanna hear you scream!

He dove back into the foliage, disappearing. His shadow cast itself across the stage wall, tall as the ceiling, with the eyes still burning red even in his silouette. He was dramatically posed sideways, his lithe form accented by the shadows. (Several fangirls screamed, “HOW DID HE DO THAT?! THAT’S SO COOL!”)

Cobramaru: Oh-oh…

Without warning, he had doubled over, and his eyes closed. He began to breathe heavily, his shoulders heaving-

And then, with cat calls and whistles from the crowd, EVERYBODY knew what had happened to him. He moaned with each exhale, his body arching and his voice rising with the music. The forest opened up to reveal Cobramaru entwined in a huge python which had slithered up his head. More girls screamed (more out of fear than anything else). The python bolted away, Cobra teasing its body like putty as it “ran”.

Cobramaru: Welcome to the Jungle,

It gets worse here everyday.

His eyes narrowed on the crowd.

Cobramaru: Learn to live-


Cobramaru: In the Jungle where we play!

He snatched a vine and threw himself into the crowd, landing by a human female!

Cobramaru: If you got a hunger for what you see,

He took her hand gently.

You’ll take it eventually.

With a flourish one would expect from Zero, he spun her into a dip on his other arm.

Cobramaru: You can have anything you want

And it quickly ended with Cobra pinning her hands behind her back and squeezing her into his body.

Cobramaru: But you better not take it-

His entire form seemed to glow with an sensual energy as his muscles tensed and his eyes glowed. Overcome by the sexy, the human girl fainted.

Cobramaru: - from me,

He threw her into her friend’s arms and posed himself for the girls surrounding him.

Cobramaru: In the Jungle,

Cobramaru: Welcome to the Jungle!

Feel my-

Thrust into celebrity mode, Cobramaru was rushed by fans, who grabbed any part of his bare body they could see. He couldn’t resist letting out a purr of satisfaction, and let himself lean on some of the fangirls.

Cobramaru: Oo, my, my, my serpentine!

I, unh,

I wanna watch you bleed!

With a puff of smoke, he was gone. It took a few seconds to find him back onstage, snapping to keep in time with the music.

Cobramaru: And when you’re high you never,

Never wanna be down-

He tensed his muscles and braced his legs.

Cobramaru: So down

So down-

He dramatically lowered his head.

Cobramaru: So dooownnn,-

He threw his head back, screaming at the top of his lungs.


The crowd went crazy and screamed along with him. The entire room turned blood red, and creatures roared and squealed and hissed out of every corner.


In the Jungle,

Welcome to the Jungle!

Won’t you take it to your

Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees, knees!

Cobramaru seemed almost possessed as he sang; his eyes were unfocused, but shining. He sang with a ferocity few had ever heard (outside of an Axel Rose concert), and his features appeared even sharper and more deadly in the crimson light.

Cobramaru: In the Jungle,

Welcome to the Jungle!

Feel my

My, my, my serpentine!

In the Jungle,

Welcome to the Jungle!

Won’t you take it to your-

The lights exploded (literally) in time with the music in a final show of might.



Exhausted, Cobra fell to his hip and tried to catch his breath, sweat dripping from his body.

Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9
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