Rigatoni scares the living shit out of me.This is an actual picture if some..

>>288344

Holy shit dude, don't fuck around with Ritagoni. One time my friend John ate some ritagoni; he got possesed by a demon and put my other friend in a coma. I wasn't there though, I was tripping balls in a mirror box

dammmmmmmneeet. no sleep tonight. >_<

you pussies haven't seen shit.

my mate went to italy and actually saw this authentic pure fettucinni, the cunt hasnt been normal since

Rigatoni? Fettuchini?

You people don't know the start of it. The hidden secrets that lie within Ravioli have changed my life.

I was in a hospital for a week and a mental ward for a month after I saw the cheese in that ravioli.

The scariest part is that the ravioli was never found, even when the ambulance arrived.

THIS THREAD IS ANTI-ITALIAN

FUCK YOU ALL IN THE NAME OF ITALY

I don't like talking about this, or even thinking about it, but... well... hell with it, I don't need to sleep tonight.

I was around thirteen, fourteen years old, just entering middle school. It was the first time I had been very far away from my home and my family (my elementary school was only a few blocks away) and I was interacting with an entirely new set of people. I made some friends, not the good sort by any means, and one day we all decided (or they decided, and I was pressured in to following them) that we should all go try to scare ourselves stupid. Rumor around school was that an old woman who lived alone had died in her home, and that no one had gone to collect the body yet. A chance to see a real live dead body? These were the type of kids who couldn't resist such a thrill. We found the house after about an hour of walking. I was sure my parents would be wondering where I was, but I feared abandoning the group. The house was old, very old, pieces of it were crumbling away as we approached along the stonework pathway. The garden was overgrown with weeds. A flowerbed that sat under a darkened, cracked window was littered with wrinkly gray petals. We got up to the door, and the bravest of the group hazarded a knock. No reply. He tried the knob. To our surprise, excitement, and horror, it turned with a rusty whine. We opened the door slowly and crept inside. I can't remember much of the decorations. The clearest memories I have of that first room are hazy - a black mist swirls around them, obscuring their reality from me. We made our way through the house, searching for the old woman's corpse. Most of the doors we tried were locked, but one lead into room, the kitchen. We couldn't see inside for it was too dark, but the smell belching forth from that room made us all nearly vomit. This is where my true fear began.

As I peered into the awful room, the other kids grouped behind me and pushed me inside! I screamed and tried to fight against them, but they had already slammed the door behind me. I was in the dark, alone with something that smelled like an open sewer. I trembled and whimpered as I tried to see something, anything, that would save me from the depths of my own imagination. I pounded my fists against the door, drowning out the sounds of the other boys laughing, holding it shut against my blows. I frantically searched my pockets for a light source, and found my keychain with an LED flashlight attached. I turned it on and scanned the room. The flashlight gave off an eerie red glow, tainting the seemingly normal pots and pans of the dead woman's kitchen, turning them into props from a slasher film. It was then I spied the kitchen table, and the scream that tore its way out of my lungs was ripped to shreds by my clenching teeth, diminishing into frantic wheezes and soft whimpers as I stared at the awful sight before me.

It was the dead woman, her skin a sickly green, her eyes pale white orbs limply dripping ooze from her skull. She was hunched over in a chair by the table, grinning the grin of the dead. I knew at any moment she would leap out of the chair and tear out my throat. I could almost feel her bony hands ripping at my neck, the skin falling from her fingers as she tore away my own. I had to do something, anything, to escape that terrible vision. Quickly, I looked away at the table top, something I regret to this day, for what I saw there has haunted my nightmares. Piled in a monstrous coil atop a bone-white saucer, the seeping red sauce of marinara upon them, were countless strands of spaghetti.

I awoke in a hospital bed three days later. My parents were by my side. They had been worried half to death. The doctors told me that I had fainted, that something must have shocked me so badly that my mind just couldn't handle the pressure and had shut itself off. My parents, to this day, plead with me to tell them what caused my spell, but I... I just can't... the memories of that... that pasta... they're just too... too creepy.

Oh FUCK YOU /x/...

Thank you SO much... I fucking hate darkness right now... I can't sleep, I can't move...
Who knows what kind of Lasagne might be lurking in the shadows... x_X

i shat bri/x/atoni

>>288398
Oh lawdy, I lol'd.

epic thread

One time, i was at the supermarket and as i turned a corner a bag of macaroni noodles was sitting in my path. i proceeded to back up and take a different route to the isle i was walking to. As i turned around and started to go a different way there was the rigatoni, staring me down. Then i passed out. When i came too i...... its just too horrible to speak of.

>>288403
Lasagne won't bother you. It's linguine that you have to watch out for. That stuff can crawl in your nose and down into your lungs.

This Italian family moved in to the old house next door to me when I was a kid. Well one chilly September afternoon, actually to come to think of it, it would have been exactly 10 years ago today, I was playing football in the back garden and I accidentally kicked my ball through one of their back windows.

I'm not sure exactly what happened but it was about 5 hours later when I woke up and my pockets were filled with farfallini.

The Italian family moved out the next day and no one ever saw them again

>>288560

fuckin' lol'd

>>288667
Oh god, not rici! I still have nightmares about that shit! All I wanted was some nice, good mexican rice...but-but-I grabbed the wrong bag!

thanks a lot, now all i can eat is rice

>>288398
You are the cure for cancer. Jesus christ, you win so fucking hard, I can't believe it. Most of the time on 4chan I call people retards for posting such horribly unfunny shit, and never tell anyone they're good. That was just fucking awesome.