The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
by Charon the Sabercat
The Gundams are introduced to their surroundings, their situations, and their hostess. This is gonna be goooood....
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2
The Gundam Beauty Pageant|
1. Introductions and the Appearance of the Author
The Gundams were shoved through the door haphazardly, the ones in the front (GunEagle, Bakunetsumaru, and Britainmaru) landing in a pile on top of eachother. Cobramaru laughed from behind, but was soon shoved over by Grappler Gouf. "Where the Dell are we?"
Captain seperated himself from the fray, stretching his booster jets. "We seem to be in the backstage area of a theatre."
Zero floated over the group, accidentally knocking the tip of his foot against Destroyer Dom's head ("Ow," said Destroyer Dom). "Why would we, of all Gundams, be in a theatre?"
"MUPPET SHOW!" Bakunetsumaru leapt to his feet and bounced around like a schoolboy. "We're doing another Muppets Revamped! I'll go get my Kermit plushie!"
Baku started to run, but was tripped by Grappler Gouf with his giant claw. "We're not doing the Muppet Show, lugnut."
Zapper Zaku gave Grappler a hard shove. "And who decided to put you in charge, toaster-brain?!"
Sazabi appeared and slapped Zapper and Grappler. "The both of you, be quiet!"
"You shut up!" Dom stood in front of his comrades, a vein forming in his head. "You no in charge! You dead!"
As the psuedo-Gundams fought, Britainmaru scuttled around the the open corridor, inspecting the ropes that connected to the curtains. "Fascinating! Marvelous! How detailed!" He barely noticed when Kibaomaru and the Daishogun joined him at his side. "Wonderful works of engineering."
"Very nice," the Daishogun agreed. He noticed Kibaomaru looking at him out of the corner of his eye and smiled. "You can gush, Father."
"The DAISHOGUN!" Kibaomaru immediately threw his arms around Daishogun. "I am so proud of you, son!"
GunEagle, Gunpanzer, and Gundiver One watched this all from the sidelines. "Man, they're all so... weird," GunEagle noted.
"Buncha weirdoes," droned Gunpanzer.
Gundiver One nodded. "Very weird."
Madnug nodded. "Too true."
GunEagle and Gundiver ran away; Gunpanzer pointed a beam rifle at Madnug's head. The dark Gundam looked into the barrel without interest. "I remember when those were discontinued."
"Stop it, Gunpanzer." Captain gently pushed the rifle away from Madnug, and he turned to his brother unit. "I'm sorry, Madnug."
"I don't need your pity." Madnug walked away, leaving Captain a little hurt.
"COME ON, BOYS!"
The Gundams all stopped what they were doing and ran into a huddle in front of the door. "Who was that?"
A rythmic clapping came from somewhere in the distance, and out from behind a shadow stepped...
Charon the Sabercat. A cat anthro with dark leopard-spotted skin, Charon stood at 5 feet 9 inches tall. Her long curly hair was tied back in a ponytail; if left to fall, it would have reached the middle of her back. Hexagonal glassed sat high on a cat-ish nose and were attached to pointed ears that stuck out pronouncedly from her head. She smiled through a cleft lip. Charon was skinny; her tail stayed low to the ground, bobbing around her high-ankled legs. She was barefoot; her toeclaws were painted pink.
She continued clapping (how she did it with her paw-like hands was anyone's guess), obviously trying to rally up the Gundams. "Come on, boys, we gotta move, you're late! One two! One two!" She saw that they weren't reacting. "What's wrong? Didn't Mel tell you where your dressing room was?"
Cobramaru spoke out first. "Who's 'Mel'?"
A sphinx named Mel sat happily in the break room playing "Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories", all previous duties forgotten. "Ha ha! Take that, Marluxia!"
Charon sighed and slammed her head into her hand. "Oy, Mel, can't do one little thing... OKAY!"
With a jump, Charon slipped into the middle of the crowd of Gundams, dispersing them. "Okay, boys, listen up. You know about beauty pageants, right? Get a bunch of pretty girls together, dress 'em up, make 'em look cute, single out the pretty one, everybody's happy right? Guess what?"
"We're the judges?" GunEagle gasped.
"You're the CONTESTANTS!" Charon cheered, throwing her arms in the air for effect. "It's a BOY Beauty Pageant!"
"It'll be great!" Charon toured the group of Gundams, making sure to make eye contact with all of them. "There are seven categories; Most Sexy, Detailed, Beautiful, Talented, Elegant, Human, and Best In Show. You'll all compete for the categories, and if you win... well, you win!"
Talgeese raised his hand. "So... we're just going to get whistled and ogled at by a bunch of girls, and they're gonna decide who's better than the rest?"
"Nobody's better than anyone he-"
Baku interrupted Zero with, "I'm gonna win!"
"Dude, no way!" GunEagle knocked Baku to the ground. "I am SO a hotty! The girls'll throw themselves at me!"
"In your dreams, Casanova!" Zero snapped.
"BOYS!" Charon roared, "WE HAVE NO TIME FOR THIS! Everyone, seperate yourselves! Neotopia, Ark, Lacroa, Dark Axis, get in groups, GO GO GO!"
The males all ran into their little groups, Madnug hovering between the Neotopia and Dark Axis groups confused before Talgeese pulled him in. Charon pulled a clipboard out from behind her back and began to check off. "OKAY! We've got.
"Captain, GunEagle, Gundiver, Gunpanzer in group Neotopia.
"Zero, Deathscythe, Ta- TALGEESE! You go in the Lacroa group!"
As Talgeese marched past grumbling, Charon took out her not-often-used bamboo scythe and whacked him in the bottom, making the other Gundams laugh and Talgeese retreat into the Lacroa group faster. Zero shivered as he realized he was standing inbetween his two worst enemies.
"Lacroa group, Zero, Talgeese, and Deathscythe.
"Ark Group has Bakunetsumaru, Ashuramaru, Kibaomaru, Daishogun-sama, Cobramaru, and... Britainmaru..."
The little old Gundam smiled and puffed out his chest. "That's right! I still got what it takes!"
Charon and Madnug shared an odd glance. She nodded, "He's not winning."
Madnug agreed. "Oh, yeah."
"Okay... And Dark Axis group is Zapper Zaku, Grappler Gouf, Destroyer Dom, Commander Sazabi, and Madnug.
"OKAY!" Charon flipped the page over. "We're all organized. Head down the hallway to your left, boys, and the ladies in wardrobe will have you all prettied up for the first round."
A shiver went down the spines of the males in the room. Ashuramaru gulped loudly; various pupils shrunk from sight. GunEagle was the first to whisper. "L-ladies?"
This's my first and probably only Mediaminer exclusive fanfiction. Rated PG for semi-swears, meanness towards others, womanizing, manizing, and the Gundams acting sexy.|
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2