<-- Jan 2006                                                      Apr 2006 -->

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/1                      Posted        Author
Robbery in Mattress shop           Thu Mar 02    Global News Network
The screen shows a more or less know anchor, sorting out his papers as the 
"This Is, G-N-N." logo drops in. Light is directed at the anchor who now turns 
to the camera and begins. "Good evening. A most unexpected event play just 
outside Chicago, in South Bend. As a mattress store was targeted for a 
robbery, the perpetrator was disguised as a ghost. It was no other than the 
Robot Gentlemen, Ghost man." A picture appear next to the newsanchor as he 
continues. "It would have seemed that the robbery would have succeed, if not 
for the interference of another party. Ironic enough, the help did not come 
from the Hunters nor Repliforce. A Wily bot appeared out of nowhere and start 
to fight the perpetrator." Now another picture comes up, next to Ghost mans. 
"We a small footage from the scene though it might not be much.." The screen 
switch to outside the mattress store. As it is still quiet, as suddenly 
something goes crash and two tomahawks flies out from the windows, accompanied 
by fluff from the innocent mattresses that got in the line of fire. One of the 
tomahawks splits a car in two, the other flies by the person shooting the 
film, where it ends. The newsanchor appears again. "No one was hurt in the 
fight, except the two robots fighting each other. All we know that Ghost man 
withdrew with haste after the long fight had ended in his downfall."

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/2                      Posted        Author
Maverick Attacks Seattle!          Thu Mar 02    Global News Network
<This...Is GNN.>

"Several people were killed, and dozens wounded today, when a Maverick attacked 
from the air! The Maverick, who sources at GNN reveal to be a former 
Repliforce Lieutenant named 'Attila', did millions of dollars of property 
damage while fighting Repliforcer Shield Shellfish. Attila was finally driven 
off after an impressive fight on the skyscrapers and in the air of Seattle, 
with Attila vowing vengeance on the fair citizens of Seattle. In other news, a 
grapefruit with the face of Mother Theresa was found in..."

<OOC: Attila or Shield with questions.>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/3                      Posted        Author
Mexican-Japanese Arms Deal         Thu Mar 02    Global News Network
<This...Is GNN.>

"Sources at GNN have discovered a deal in the works between military arms 
manufacturer Tanaka Arms and the nation of Neo-Arcadia. Although no official 
UN statement has been issued at this time, Tanaka Arms spokespeople assure the 
world that this deal is perfectly legal, and does not in any way, shape, or 
form involve the use of anti-Reploid weapons banned by the Geneva Convention. 
Neo-Arcadian spokespeople have yet to make a statement, although we here at 
GNN expect no statement from a nation of bigots." The Reploid anchor looks off 
camera, scowls, and looks back. "I apologize for that last remark. This is 
Microphone Snail, signing off."

<< The opinions of those held by our anchor people do not represent the 
opinions of GNN.>>

<OOC: Contact Machiavelli or Umbra Phantom for questions.>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/4                      Posted        Author
Schuman Shipping                   Thu Mar 02    Global News Network
<This...Is GNN.>

"This is Arty McMarty, reporting from Australia. Schuman Shipping, a recent 
start-up company backed by African corporation United Goods, has started a 
sweeping, new program within Australia. Notably, they are offering free 
cybernetic upgrades to their workers, and our sources reveal that they are 
also courting union influence in the process. Their 'cybernetic healthplan', 
the first of its kind, is to make their workers quote 'more productive', and 
happier. No official word from the unions yet, although our economic analysts 
expect that this plan will be very popular with the working class, who often 
do not get the luxury of cybernetics, due the relative expense of the 

<OOC: Contact Machiavelli with questions.>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/5                      Posted        Author
New Power Plant                    Fri Mar 03    Global News Network
<GNN: Tol Eressea>

"A New Power Plant has recently finished construction in Tol Eresesa. What 
would normally be a rather unremarkable event, this new Power Plant is 
sporting a powerful Force Metal Generator. Officials, spearheaded by 
Councilman Cigar Shark, supported the new force metal generator by praising 
its power and efficiency."

"'I would like to personally put everybody at ease by assuring them that the 
Force Metal Generator will be heavily guarded. This Generator is an investment 
not just for ourselves but for the future of Tol Eressea' Councilman Shark 
assured the public." 

<NO PUNDITRY, NONE AT ALL. Okay, maybe some>

OOC: Questions to Lumine

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/6                      Posted        Author
War Coverage!                      Sun Mar 05    Global News Network
<This...Is GNN.>

"This is Richard Rodrigo, reporting from San Angeles! Neo-Arcadian Pantheon, 
supported by a tank, attacked San Angeles' today, launching a raid on 
Proto-Point! <shots of Hibou devouring part of Flame Hyenard, Steel Massimo 
falling, Monolith getting beaten to a pulp by Burn Dinorex, Isaac crushing 
Hibou to near death, and Riot launching a missile at the Tezcat.> Luckily for 
the forces of freedom, the Neo-Arcadians were driven off! We won today, boys 
and girls, we won!"

<OOC: Contact Hien with questions.>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/7                      Posted        Author
Sydney Attacked: Dr. Wily Dead?    Mon Mar 06    Global News Network

< Lead story. >

Dr. Wily and a large group of Robot Masters led an assault on Sydney this 
evening, but were repelled by the Australian defense forces. During the 
battle, there are reports that Dr. Wily sustained an apparently lethal head 
wound from an unidentified sniper.

The assault, claimed to be in retaliation for the Australian government's 
alleged involvement in the kidnapping of Constance Wily, was met by resistance 
from Maverick Hunter units. Zero and Proto Man were on site, but did not take 
part in the action which directly injured Dr. Wily.

The Australian government has not issued a statement about the possible death 
of Dr. Wily, but has described the attack by Wily's forces as 'deplorable' and 
'cowardly'. Damage from the attack is estimated to be in the millions, and 
hundreds of civilians and military units were injured in the crossfire. A 
tally of the deaths resulting from the battle has not yet been released.

< Punditry. >

OOC: Leo, Dr. Wily


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/8                      Posted        Author
Battlebot Vengeance                Mon Mar 06    Global News Network
A paid advertisement, courtesy from your friends at the Battlebot Fighting 

It's a very flashy 1980's style ad similar to monster truck rallys. 
"Battlebots. Battlebots! BATTLEBOTS! Come one come all to the 1st Annual 
Battlebots Beatup! You gave it your all in the Battle & Chase games, and got 
wrecked by some silly guy with a silly Battlebot. Well here's your chance to 
prove your mettle!"

"This Sunday (Minor time edit, can't do friday) at 8PM EST, we're holding a 
Battlebot free for all! Bring your Battlebot to Kansas City, where you will 
pit it in a match against all others! Winner take all! Prove your Battlebot's 
superiority! No tricks, no traps, just Mindless Combat against all other 
entrants! Sunday (Minor time edit, can't do friday). Sunday (Minor time edit, 
can't do friday)! SUNDAY!"

The message sponsored by the Society for Mindless Robotic Combat.

OOC: Questions? Page... Dr. Wily!?!?!?

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/9                      Posted        Author
Aussie News Conference             Mon Mar 06    Global News Network

< A snippet of a press conference that hits the main feeds. >

A man is seen standing at a podium with the Australian flag draped behind him. 
He is noted at the bottom of the screen as being General Gaus Magrevich: a 
grey-haired gentleman with sharp blue eyes, a receding hairline, thick, dark 
eyebrows and a prominant moustache-turned goatee that tapers down to a point 
just above the knot of his tie. He's wearing a formal Australian military 
uniform indicating his station.

Gaus is responding to a question asked by one of the reporters which goes 
unheard, but you can infer the answer by context. "We have no evidence at 
this time to believe that anyone in our own military was involved with the 
kidnapping of Constance Wily. A full investigation by both our own internal 
affairs division and the United Nations is investigating the matter. We have 
nothing to hide, and we completely deny any involvement. The Australian 
government does not kidnap foreign nationals."

"As to your second question," Gaus says, "when our nation is attacked, we will 
defend ourselves. We cannot and will not rely on the Repliforce, proven only 
to be a breeding ground for new and more deadly Mavericks, to protect us. 
Doctor Wily is a terrorist interested only in sowing destruction and ruin 
across the world. I believe that if you look toward the still-smoking crater 
left in San Angeles, you will see that he cannot be negotiated with, he cannot 
be treated like a legitimate government. You have to destroy these men before 
they destroy you. We will defend ourselves. Asking us to do otherwise is 
inviting our own deaths."

Gaus grips the podium. "When you ask these questions of your government, of 
your military, do you know what I hear? I hear you asking me, should we lay 
down and die? Should we cower in fear as San Angeles did, allowing them free 
reign through our country until millions and millions of us have died? We have 
seen what happened to them. We see what happens to any nation, like Russia, 
like San Angeles, like Eurasia, which chooses to parlay with these terrorists 
rather than to gun them down like dogs. They are /ripped apart/ from the 

Gaus beats on the podium. "To hell with your cowardice! We will fight, and we 
will /win/! There is no other way!" He stares at the silenced group of 
reporters, then turns sharply on his heel and walks off the stage to a hail of 
shouted questions.

< Punditry. >

OOC: Leo


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/10                     Posted        Author
Masters Violate RF                 Tue Mar 07    Global News Network

        "...and that's the story of Bass and Rock's Special Valentine's Day." 

        Chest shuffles his notes. "In other news, Robot Master forces, 
including the famed Guts Man, the famed Gemini Man, the almost as famed Punk, 
and the relatively-unheard-of-lately Metal Man struck out at the Central 
African Diamond Reserve. The heavily fortified vault was breached by the 

        "Repliforce officers in the form of Lieutenant Colonel Storm Owl, 1st 
Lieutenant Shield Shellfish, 2nd Lieutenant Singularity Shrike, and Private 
Mercurial Mongoose. Reports that San Angeles vigilante Suploid was there as 
well." Chest pauses to glance at his notes and says, "An eye-witness reported 
that each Repliforcer, as well as Suploid, was, quote, 'one by one bent over 
and vio-...'" Chest trails off and peers at his notes again. That /can't/ be 
right. Chest squints, adjusting his glasses as he rereads his notes. Crap. 

        Changing on the fly, Chest coughs politely and says, "Eye witnesses 
noted that all of the forces of good were either defeated or forced to flee. 
Estimates are still pending, however early reports indicate that this was a 
major heist for the Robot Masters. 

        And on goes the news. 


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/11                     Posted        Author
Crabs On the Barbary               Tue Mar 07    Global News Network
".....and it's said that Cygnus, the swan constellation, is aligned with 
obesity and gross lack of social skills."

"In International News, a mechaniloid class robotics storage facility was 
attacked in the Barbary Coast Region of Africa earlier today by Robot Masters. 
Eye-witnesses identified Wave Man, Tomahawk Man, Skull Man, and Pharaoh Man as 
being present..."

*On site pictures of each*

"Response was quick by STARS Officer Thrash McKenzie and Repliforce's Captain 
Assault Kangaroo, but even with the help of a mysterious reploid..."

*fuzzy, hard to identify picture of Spider as he flings cards at Skull Man*

"...they were forced into retreat. A large industrial mechaniloid component is 
suspected stolen, though the specific item itself has yet to be commented on 
to the media, as damages are tallied and item remains identified."

"Now, on to weather..."

OOC: Contact any of the people involved above for details. Punditry as 

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/12                     Posted        Author
Dust Man In New York               Fri Mar 10    Global News Network
<An odd headline along with the usual late night news stories.>
"Earlier this evening, in Brooklyn, New York, reports indicate that Dust Man 
was sighted shopping inside a small convenience store/cafe. The noted Robot 
Master purchased some junk food for some unknown purpose. 'Chief' R of 
S.T.A.R.S. was, reportedly, speaking with the Master as he was making his way 
out with the purchased goods."
<Overhead shot of Chief R trailing behind Dust Man, followed by one of a truck 
ramming into him. Notice that the two are crossing an intersection and Chief R 
has one foot outside of the pedestrian walkway zone. Technically, he was 
jaywalking. This is seen from multiple angles, as if it is interesting or 
otherwise hilarious.>
"A NYPD S.W.A.T. team responded to diffuse the threat, but the Master managed 
to escape with the help of an abandoned shopping cart moped. No deaths have 
been reported, with the only injury being 'Chief' R himself. He is reportedly 
in good condition, but has declined to comment about the situation or the 
<OOC Contacts: Chief R, Dust Man>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/13                     Posted        Author
Blurb                              Fri Mar 10    Global News Network

        Minor blip in the international news. 

        The yearly joint meeting of the Irish parliament and presidential 
cabinet is scheduled to meet this Sunday. This open forum between the seperate 
political bodies allows questioning and discussion of governmental and 
national policies. President Liam Andrews and Taoiseach (cabinet leader) Eoin 
Coileain have both been under fire from the lower houses of the parliament; 
members have cited concerns over the possibility of dropping Ireland's current 
UN membership after the essential dissolution of Interpol. Coileain in 
particular is under fire for adopting a heavily reliant stance on Repliforce 
contract for national defense; the Taoiseach stated this policy as necessary, 
noting that with Repliforce's support the United Nations membership is 
"redundant and costly, maintained only out of a national sense of sentimental 
value". Both Coileain and Andrews are members of the Fianna Fail party, who 
possess over half the seats in the parliament and contains the most reploids 
and androids; the party is known for taking a very cautious pro-reploid stance 
and supporting the gradual industrialization and mechanization of Ireland. 

        Due to safety concerns road closings have been scheduled around 
Leinster House Sunday evening in regards to this event. Security is guaranteed 
to be tight and members of the press will not be allowed to attend the floor 
meeting; a transcript will be made available to the GNN website immediately 
following the floor meeting. 


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/14                     Posted        Author
Memorial Service of DOOM           Fri Mar 10    Global News Network
*GNN Nightly News*

"....proving once and for all that soylent green is, in fact, made of people."

"In Social Events, the infamous and recently "deceased"..." The reporter 
actually stops and uses quote motions with this fingers. "..Dr. Wily shall 
have a memorial service in his honor on the Eurasian skydeck this coming 
Monday, March 13th. Eurasian security is expecting to have 95 percent of it's 
staff on duty for the event to insure safety of all those participating. 
Mourners are welcome, but asked to bring a covered dessert or casserole dish. 
Pie is preffered."

"Next, on to the weather..."

(OOC: Pharaoh Man is throwing a shindig for Wily on Eurasia Monday, March 13th 
at 7:00 PM CST ɠ:00 PM MUSH Time>. If you would like to speak, do something, 
etc. send me an @mail by Sunday. I would heavily prefer this not become a 
fight in any way, sense, or form.)

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/15                     Posted        Author
Memorial Concert                   Fri Mar 10    Global News Network
Flyers can be seen around London, advertising a "Robot Wars Memorial Concert" 
on Saturday. Very little is actually /promised/, due to well-chosen 
weasel-words, but a lot seems implied. Quality, certainly, is. As is some 
subtle insult towards Clockwerk.

OOC: Ask Crystal Man or Star Man.

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/16                     Posted        Author
Giga City Hoedown                  Fri Mar 10    Global News Network

"Last night, as you may have heard, a team of Robot Masters who were identified 
as Enker, Laser Man, and Shade Man has recklessly landed upon a building, 
crushing it with the Skull Shuttle. Panic was a feeling many had as they 
retreated from the masters present upon the scene. However, hope was not that 
far off, as the well known to us, Zero, Scarface, the irregular warrior, and 
what some say to be Crimson Falcon, a Crimson Falcon. 

They waylaid the robot masters in hopes of pushing them away from the fight, 
seemingly winning, and loosing at the same time. In the end, Zero erupted in 
what was reported to be 'A terrible burst of flame which shot out in all 
directions. Burning everything to a crisp within five meters, leaving the 
hunter wounded and in critical condition.' The reploid was chased away by 
Shade Man, Laser Man defeated Zero to the point which caused him to erupt 
sending him into a retreat. 

Our camera teams had to evacuate the areas, but when we returned what we 
presumed what was a long duel, Enker felled Scarface in front of, what we were 
told, the great leader Epsilon. Epsilon handled not only looking good against 
a moonlit background, but also throwing Enker to become a shiny star in the 
sky. The Robot Masters were successfully pushed back from Giga city thanks to 
the Irregulars and Maverick Hunter Zero. And thanks to another reploid of 
unknown origins." 

<This... was GNN>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/17                     Posted        Author
Fire In Nogaki!                    Sat Mar 11    Global News Network
*This...is GNN* 

"Wasabi Walrus here with local news. There was a small fire today in Sublevel 1 
of the Nogaki Commercial District, blazing for nearly an hour! Fortunately, 
the inferno was contained by our brave men, women, and gender optional 
reploids at the Tanaka Street Fire House, and the only damage was the old 
Happy Fish warehouse, which was completly destroyed by the fire. While the 
warehouse was believed abandoned, inspectors found traces of what they believe 
to be human teeth." The Walrus Reploid looks compassionate-he thinks this is 
going to make his career! "Police are investigating dental records now, but 
nothing conclusive has been reported. Never the less, a hearty thank you to 
the boys in yellow for saving the day, and keeping the fire from spreading 
throughout this packed subdistrict!" The Walrus bows his head, as the news 
program switches to commercial. 

*That...was GNN.* 

(Questions? The Evil Dr. Takeshi Shinchiro has answers!)

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/18                     Posted        Author
United Goods Takeover              Sun Mar 12    Global News Network
<Any News Outlet> 

Presently United Goods, a North African conglomerate composed of Schuman 
Shipping, Mogul Media, and Fry Daddy, has been successfully taken over by 
Loath Corporation, turning the prominent American business headed by CEO Lex 
Loath into a multinational company. There has been no explanation presented 
for the takeover, but an official statement from CEO Loath states that the two 
businesses were 'close', and takeover talks had already been discussed in the 
background. Moneta Fortunata has recently made an offer to purchase Mogul 
Media from 'Loath Goods', but no deal has currently been made. 

In other news, Tiamat Oil continues to be an effective distributor in Saudi... 

OOC: Contact Lex Loath for info/questions.

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/19                     Posted        Author
Irish Parliament Attacked          Mon Mar 13    Global News Network

        Quintessential Quagga, a zebra-looking reploid with a tiny little 
goatee and equally tiny glasses, stares over his huge muzzle to peer 
nearsightedly at the camera. He is very somber-looking, and rightfully so. The 
box over his right shoulders shows the Leinster House, which up until a few 
minutes ago was on fire and extremely viral and partially collapsed, and is 
now smoking, extremely viral, and partially collapsed. 

        "At 9:41 PM, March 13th, the collected Irish parliament was attacked 
during their yearly floor meeting. In what can only be described as a massive 
slaughter, Mavericks struck without warning during the opening prayer of the 
session of parliament. President Liam Andrews and Taoiseach Eoin Coileain have 
both been confirmed dead; including parliament and staff, casualties are in 
the hundreds and are still currently being tallied. The Presidential 
Commission will be stepping in to fill all official duties until such time as 
a successor can be elected..." 

        Quagga continues to drone on as names, data sheets, and the like, all 
scroll by. Of the 243 parliament members, 113 were killed and another 60 
wounded; of the 145 Fianna Fail members, 75 total were killed and another 3 
wounded. The president and taoiseach were both found dead, having been exposed 
to repeated sonic blasts and encased in dry ice. As both men had families, not 
to mention most of those in the parliament, there's all SORTS of punditry and 
speculation to follow. Leinster House, dating back to the 18th century, is a 
virulent, half-destroyed mess. Even the poor baker dude next door had his 
place trashed and was killed for his pains, which were great indeed. No 
official statements have been released yet on this massacre, the Flight of the 

        Repliforce, Hunters, and STARS are thanked; without whom things almost 
certainly would have been far worse. 


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/20                     Posted        Author
RF Response to Irish Attack        Mon Mar 13    Global News Network

        The Repliforce has issued a statement sending its condolences to the 
families of those that lost their lives in the attack and praising them as 
people who risked their lives to help make the world a better place. The 
statement says that these politicians made the ultimate sacrifice in the name 
of freedom. It also condemns the actions of the Coalition as ruthless and 
barbaric, saying that the explicit targeting of civilians is something that 
should be unthinkable. Repliforce has also reiterated its dedication to 
helping the government rebuild after this national tragedy. All Repliforce 
flags will be lowered to half-mast for the foreseeable future out of respect. 

        Questions to Butterball. 


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/21                     Posted        Author
Battlebot Brawler in Business      Mon Mar 13    Global News Network

Korean twitch gaming champion, Jin Ita, star of Comedy Central's Battlebots: 
the Wars Continue and current Megaquest Online champion, announced today his 
latest title- 'member of Scitech'.

"It's nothing special, really, I just thought I should look at a steady job to 
make sure I always had some money in my back pocket," he explains. "Although 
it's fun, relying on your winnings for income is never not risky."

Jin Ita has been famous in Korea for several years as a professional in the 
computer and video gaming circuit, as well as all fields of professional 
battlebot competition. He is currently starring in 'Sport Ace' in London's 
west end.

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/22                     Posted        Author
Nomura General Taken Hostage       Mon Mar 13    Global News Network
         A Japanese news woman reports calmly on the evening news. 
         "A hostage situation at Nomura General Hospital in Nogaki Commercial 
District occured today when the building was taken over by androids belonging 
to the recently deceased Dr. Wily. There is no word currently if any hostages 
were killed, but the situation was ended by the combined efforts of the local 
authority and STARS members. Hospital equipment was apparently stolen, as well 
as a large amount of donated blood left out and torn open. The blood has been 
disposed of as a biohazard, as well as the entire first flood of the hospital, 
due to a brackish substance found on the floor. No word yet if Dr. Wily's 
robots were apprehended on the scene..."

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/23                     Posted        Author
Guy Fox Massacre!                  Tue Mar 14    Global News Network
<This...Is GNN.>

"Tragedy struck today at the Guy Fox Parade in London, when a Maverick, the 
former Repliforcer 'Attila', opened fire into a crowd of innocent civilians. 
Dozens were killed and hundreds more were seriously wounded, as Byte also 
arrived on scene. The carnage was tremendous, and millions of zenny in 
property damage was done by the lone Maverick, with almost no assistance from 
Byte. STARS member Miharu Sakamoto was on hand, and did battle with Attila, as 
a wanted criminal known as 'Energize', and Scott Wily's 'Blade Man', arrived 
to fight Byte. Attila was nearly destroyed by an intense hit launched by both 
Energize and Officer Sakamoto, <shot of Ascent of the Thunder God - two 
primaries at once, beyotch - blowing Attila to pieces>, and Byte collected 
what was left of him and fled the scene. This has been the second major 
terrorist attack by the Mavericks in a number of days, and it claims both 
Reploid and human alike, although most of the fatal casualties were human. In 
other news..."

<OOC: Questions to Attila.>

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/24                     Posted        Author
Live! From New Zealand!            Wed Mar 15    Global News Network
*This...is GNN." 

"Busniess Bison here with exciting news! A suprise announcement came from from 
Wellington, New Zealand today, declaring the opening of an International Union 
of Robotic Workers. The organization is sponsored primarily by various trusts 
under the Light Labs umbrella, and has quickly become the talk of the town! 
Lets go down to Connie at Wellington to get more information! I wish I had a 

"What do you mean we didn't cut rig-" *Cut!* 

Connie, a pretty young woman in a conservitivly cut suit, is standing outside 
of the Union Headquarters. "Hello, Bison! We wish you did too. I'm here 
tonight with the two leaders of this new movement. Chief Foreman and 
Chairperson Beef Bluecollar and Dr. Thomas Light himself! Do you two have 
anything you'd like to share with the viewers at home?" 

Dr. Light makes an 'after you' motion, but Beef holds up his hoof. Light 
shrugs, and smiles. "Hello, Connie. Loved your report on Giant Robo, by the 
way. I suppose the one thing I have to say is that I'm sorry this isn't 
happening sooner. Robots-android, reploid, bioroid, hybrid, and even heavily 
converted cyborgs-have been underrepresented in one of their primary fields of 
employment for far, far too long. Our intention here is to build a truely 
international organization, one suited to fight for fair treatment in the 
workplace for all species! The shameful way Australia has treated its robotic 
working force is only the latest in an unpleasent litany of crimes the 
busniess world has commited in the name of quick profit and paranoia. And I 
say to my colleagues in the worlds of science, economics, and academia: Stop 
being jerks, you hosers." 

Connie smiles, having nodded off during Light's speech, and turns to Beef. She 
and Dr. Light snicker a little for reasons best not to contemplate. The big 
reploid pulls on his suit collar, coughing. "Well, ah, the Doctor really put 
it best. I just, um, think its important to say that, as a guy who's been on 
almost any job there is, to know someone's looking out for you. Human, 
android, reploid, cyborg, its all about the job. I'm honored to be a part of 
this, and I want all the crews out there to know that the IUR is gonna be 
fighting for them! Um. Yeah." Beef starts to stutter, and Dr. Light puts a 
calming hand on his shoulder, giving the big robot a thumbs up. Connie smiles, 
and turns back to the camera. 

"And that's the news: Something big happened in New Zealand. Will this become a 
yearly event? Who knows! Back to you, BB!" There's a pause. And another pause. 
"Um...back to you, BB!" The akward standing continues for a few seconds before 
they go to commercial. 

*That...was GNN.*

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/25                     Posted        Author
United Kingdom In Unrest           Wed Mar 15    Global News Network

The United Kingdom remains in a state of high alert from the devestating attack 
against the Irish Parliament. The British government has mobilized the 
military to step up defense of government buildings, as have local governments 
across the island chain. Concerns over further Maverick attacks have 
galvanized public opinion, raising racial tensions between humans and Reploids 
in what has been traditionally a very progressive area for robots.

A group claiming to be affiliated with the Roundheads purchased a full-page ad 
in the Wednesday edition of the Times, demanding action from Parliament on 
this matter of "overwhelming national security". The Roundheads are an 
underground militant anti-Reploid group considered to be a terrorist 
organization by the British government, and are believed to be headed by 
Thomas Houseman, son of former UN conspirator James Houseman IV.

"We will not stand by and watch our nation be destroyed by the continued 
attacks of Maverick elements," according to excerpts from the ad. "We must 
take action and prevent these elements from ever gaining a foothold in our 
country, or else we will share the same fate as our brothers and sisters on 
the Continent."

Downing Street had no comment on the ad, though elements of the House of 
Commons vigorously debated more restrictive security measures today. The 
debate is likely to continue well into the coming week.

International aid has been pouring into Ireland to help maintain the government 
during its transitional period. United Nations peacekeepers have entered the 
country to insure that basic government services continue, cooperating with 
the United States in "bringing things back to speed as soon as possible," 
according to a spokesman. The Australian government has also sent in a small 
detachment of troops to assist in securing Leinster House while damages are 
assessed and repairs begin.

OOC: Leo


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/26                     Posted        Author
Elpizo visits Australia            Wed Mar 15    Global News Network

        <This... is GNN> 

        In international news, Aztlan President Elpizo made his second official 
state visit to Australia within a year. There is footage of Elpizo and 
Australian Prime Minister Lachlan Cooper smiling, waving at the cameras and 
press, and shaking hands in front of the Lodge in Canberra. A statement from 
the Office of the Prime Minister said this was a casual visit. 

        Prime Minister Cooper was quoted as saying that "President Elpizo and 
the people of Aztlan are friends to Australia." He also said that he urged 
President Elpizo to seek peace with the Americans, and that he would do the 
same with President Seers of the United States. Cooper said that the war 
between two of Australia's friends is a tragedy, and he feared the effect that 
the destabilization of the region, including North and Central America, as 
well as San Angeles, could have throughout the world. The Prime Minister also 
mentioned that Tol Eressea was another topic that was discussed. 

        President Elpizo joked that "As always, we shall prove that peace can 
be achieved over tea time." 

        <That... was GNN> 

        OOC: Questions to Excise. 


================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/27                     Posted        Author
Sides News                         Fri Mar 17    Global News Network
<GNN Stories of The Day>
Today! On GNN! The All News Network! Top Stories all the time!
        Steel Massimo rescues a bus full of young war orphans from falling off 
a cliff. And it was all caught on camera! See the interviews with the children 
and the crazed bus driver at Eleven!
        A Dust Man Cult has risen up in Maine. 24 Housewives have declared 
martial law in a small town, forcing children to take daily showers, brush 
their teeth, and training men militantly to do their own laundry, all under 
the banner of Dust Man.
        Fitness Guru, Tofu Turkey, says that serving in the Repliforce can lead 
to heart disease and robo-diabetes.
        And an editorial of how Mini-Hyenards can cause cancer, all on GNN 

================================== IC News ===================================
Message: 16/28                     Posted        Author
Light Labs Spring Line!            Fri Mar 17    Global News Network
*This...is GNN* 

"Well, hey there Billy! This is Fashionista Ferret with breaking news! Light 
Labs doesn't have spring fashions!" The Reploid winks, putting on a pair of 
glasses. "Fortunately, I double majored in Brainology. Lets see what that 
cooky Dr. Light's cooked up for us today!" 

"First on the list was a strange device called the Pressurized. Lifesupporting. 
Orientiering. Wagon., or PLOW if you're in a hurry." Cut to a picture of the 
PLOW, which kind of looks like a plow of THE FUTURE, with several points 
throughout that are obviously ment to expand. It comes in a handsome black, 
fire red, and area-approprate camoflage! Fashionista continues, "The PLOW is 
intended to give famlies working on recolonizing and restoring damaged parts 
of the world a head start. Essentially, a homestead in a pod, with densely 
compacted seed, equipment for livestock, breeding facilities, resource 
detection equipment, anti-radiation and climate control devices, and good old 
fashioned plowing and clearing equipment. And just between you and me, TV 
Land, ol'Doc Light's working on a version of this machine tailor-made for 
colonizing space! Oooh, its like a movie! I wonder if this has anything to do 
with those rumors about strange goings on in Light Labs buildings after hours, 

 "Now, the obvious question is: What happens when my homestead in a can if it 
gets a bad case of Sigma Virus? Well, those guys at Light Labs have come up 
with this little baby," The Ferret holds up a device the size of a fancy 
office pen. The Reploid holds it up to her temple, and switches it on-pausing 
for a second before bobbing her head. "Ooh, Clock Man jams~", and then the 
reporter reluctantly cuts the music off, turning onto a suspicious looking 
toaster. The Ferret Reploid presses the button again...and the toaster 
shudders for a second, its widgets and doohickies smoking for a few seconds 
before it enters a state of Not Working No'Mo. Fashionista Ferret smiles, 
turning back to the camera and saying, "This here is a Light Labs Knockout 
Router Mk. 1. The exact details are sketchy, but as I've just shown my groovy 
kinda audience out here, it only seems to work on drone-level AI. The idea is 
to take out a piece of bezerk equipment before it hurts someone or destroys 
your house, while not having to destroy it!" 

"Light Labs has launched a weekend long extravaganza, encouraging well off 
governments to invest in the PLOWs by distributing hundreds of models to 
needy would-be settlers and rebuilders in Ireland, Contonental Europe, parts of 
Africa and Canada, and especialy Russia!" Switch to footage of employees 
wearing the blue double-Ls holding classes on the use of the PLOWs, training 
nervous looking young couples in the use of the Knockout Router, and finally 
waving and cheering the first group of trained settlers as they move out to 
try and bring some civilization back to the rest of their country. Quick clip 
back to Fashionista Ferret, who's still smiling professionaly. "The Labs tend 
to invent in bulk-you never want to assume with those crazy guys, but I 
wouldn't be suprised if we're going to see some more wonderful things coming 
out soon. This is Fashionista Ferret, with the GNN Daily Tech Tetrabyte. Y'all 
be good now!"

[[missed posts, arg]]

<-- Jan 2006                                                      Apr 2006 -->

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